Apa Cite Emotion and the Art of Negotiation by Alison Woods Brooks

Print me!

OPENINGS

Open with Conviction

Learning Objectives Est. time: ten min.

• Preparing emotionally for negotiation
• Transforming anxiety into positive free energy
• Tuning your mindset for peak performance

How you lot can participate

• Use the comment tool at the finish of the module to add your insights and questions
• Appoint with beau learners and share your all-time practices
• Bank check regularly for comments from the creators of Negotiate i-two-3

Introduction

Imagine that you are moments away from starting an of import negotiation. You might be meeting with your boss in hopes of gaining a promotion and raise. It might be with a key client whose business concern yous need to land. Or maybe yous're headed a community meeting where neighbors will be arguing virtually a contentious issue.

Accept this quick survey nearly how you lot would likely feel going into situation that matters a lot to y'all.

Managing Anxiety

People accept varying feelings when starting a negotiation, every bit the results beneath show. For instance, some individuals are more than confident than others are. But almost everyone feels a caste of anxiety—for some, just a picayune; for others much more. Drawing on her studies, Harvard Business organisation School Professor Alison Forest Brooks reports that "feet is the nigh ordinarily experienced emotion before a negotiation, more and so than excitement, sadness, calmness, or anger."

According to Brooks, feeling some feet can accept some positive effects, provided the timing is correct. "If individuals feel anxious far in accelerate of an effect," she says, "it can motivate effort and preparation through a process called defensive cynicism; when individuals make negative appraisals well-nigh future events, they piece of work harder to avoid potential negative outcomes and set up more thoroughly."

That'southward the skilful news. But when anxiety is felt immediately before an event—whether it'southward giving a speech, taking a test, or negotiating—information technology is oftentimes plush equally it's coupled with a lack of confidence and a loss of control. According to Brooks, negotiators who have such feelings "tend to make decisions that inadvertently damage their functioning, such every bit making depression first offers, responding rapidly to counteroffers, making steep concessions, and exiting negotiations prematurely. Not to mention that a example of fretfulness merely takes the enjoyment out of the negotiation procedure."

Many people discover it difficult to overcome anxiety whenever it arises. That's not surprising, especially if the stakes are high. An inner voice may ask rat-a-tat questions: "What if my boss says I'grand non gear up for promotion? What if she loses her atmosphere? What if I fail?" Fortunately, Professor Brooks has plant a simple technique for transforming such feelings into something positive.

In a basis-breaking experiment, she gave subjects a job designed to make them nervous. She told them that they would sing, Karaoke-style, a difficult vocal in front end of an dead stranger. The song, one of the most oftentimes downloaded selections on iTunes, was "Don't Cease Believin" by Journey.

Subjects were hooked up to heart monitors and sure enough, their pulses jumped up when they learned about the assignment. Just before they began, Brooks had people in one grouping say out loud three words. "When you deliver your line," they were instructed, "really try to believe it. Hither is your line: I am anxious." Subjects in a second grouping went through the aforementioned protocol, but instead were told to say, "I am excited."

The excited grouping significantly out-performed the broken-hearted grouping, equally measured by software that tracked the volume, correct pitch, and note duration of their singing. What's impressive is how this self-talk, every bit Brooks calls it, had a positive effect even though information technology was prompted by someone else, rather than beingness spontaneous. Along with colleagues, she has validated the result in other settings, including public speaking, and taking math tests. As she explains, the simple statement sparks are a reappraisal of both the imminent consequence (for us, a negotiation) and one's ain internal land.

Trying to calm down is understandable, Brooks says, however often counterproductive since, "physiological arousal—your racing center and sweaty palms—is automatic and very hard to suppress." Transforming those heightened feelings from feet to excitement is much easier.

For a light-hearted demonstration by a reporter for the Atlantic Monthly, see this curt video:

Summary

What nosotros feel within—the emotions and attitudes we bring to the table—color our perceptions and influence our behavior. Moreover, our feelings tin can be contagious. If we are anxious, others may grow tense. We if are centered, past contrast, other parties may get more than balanced themselves.

The work of psychologists like Professor Brooks reminds us that it is possible to have some control over emotions—not stifling them, necessarily, but transforming them into positive energy that enables us to perform at our best.

Several years ago, in my MBA negotiation form, nosotros did a session on improv, being quick on your feet. One of the exercises was "instant-adept" where I would pick a student to give a three-infinitesimal lecture. The residuum of the class would choose a topic that he or she would know nothing about.

The first person—call him Mark—was given the topic of haute couture. You could meet the shock in face up, followed by anger. He trudged down to the front of the room and struggled to have anything to say. The iii minutes passed slowly for everyone.

The 2d person to practise the exercise was "Thalia." Her face brutal, too, when I start called on her. It darkened when she learned of her topic: the migration of monarch butterflies.

Only even as she came down the 3 steps from the concluding row, her expression brightened. She turned her head, scanning the classroom with a smile. "I'm and then thrilled to be here," she said. "My 1 regret is that I take only three minutes to tell you lot about my life's passion, the amazing monarch butterfly."

She gave a terrific talk, cartoon on what she knew almost the insect (not that much), while weaving it her love of learning about the marvels of nature. Her classmates gave her a continuing ovation. Equally she headed back to her seat, I asked her for her secret. She said, "I figured if I had to practice this, I might as well give information technology my very best."

Additional Resources

• Alison Wood Brooks (et al), Don't Cease Believing: Rituals Improve Performance by Decreasing Anxiety, Organizational Behavior and Human Determination Processes, 137, 2016, 71-85.
• Alison Woods Brooks, Become Excited: Reappraising Pre-Performance Anxiety as Excitement, Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 143, no. iii, June 2014, 1144-1158.
• Alison Wood Brooks and Maurice E. Schweitzer, Can Nervous Nelly Negotiate? How Feet Causes Negotiators to Make Depression First Offers, Go out Early, and Earn Less Profit, Organizational Beliefs and Man Decision Processes, Volume 115, Outcome 1, May 2011, 43-54.
• Alison Woods Brooks, Dear Negotiation Passenger vehicle, Negotiation Briefings (Programme on Negotiation, Harvard Law School).
• Amy Cuddy, Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges, New York: Little, Brown and Company, 2015.
• Nilofer Merchant, The Showtime Stride to Existence Powerful, Harvard Business organization Review, November 8, 2013.
• Craig Lambert, The Psyche on Automatic, Harvard Magazine, November-December 2010.
• Carol Kinsey Goman, 12 Body Language Tips For Career Success, Forbes, August 21, 2013.
• Kimberlyn Leary, Julianna Pillemer, and Michael Wheeler, Negotiating with Emotion, Harvard Business Review, January-February 2013

jumponigh1944.blogspot.com

Source: http://negotiate123.com/open-with-confidence.php

Share this post